A World of Contrasts
Will you get me a bib? The wind rustles the trees outside and the light shines through the small cabin door. A rainbow on a warm white fuzzy blanket. A dab of green baby poop on a small white sock The feeling of calm and panic. I will get a bib. A cry. A bright…
Motherhood is
Frantically eating unevenly cooked oatmeal Going to doctors appointments in leggings from the night before Sitting in a puddle Cleaning up a puddle Having your heart ripped out And put back together Being bored While being overwhelmed Counting down Forgetting to count Trying to breathe Holding your breath Scarfing down ice cream Spilling lunch Leaking…
4th of July
When my sister and I were really young, we dressed up as barbies for the 4th of July to participate in the local parade close to my grandma’s summer house. My grandma had an old, beautiful run-down home on the Connecticut sound, nestled in the woods of a suburban neighborhood. We would go every summer…
The Canoe Trip
My dad, with a strategically placed slice of silver hair on an otherwise beautiful head of brown locks, sat proudly at the back of a canoe, attempting to keep his posture straight while resting his belly comfortably in his lap, in between an unfastened bright orange lifejacket. He was finally taking us on a boat…
Opening Scene
A man in his late 50s sat outside a large white brick apartment building in his beaten down black Ford pickup truck taking long pensive drags of his cigarette looking perfectly comfortable behind the wheel. The truck wasn’t running, but was double parked, with the driver’s side door partially open and his leg casually hanging…
Loss
Loss creeps up, attacking the unsuspecting and the worn down. Sneaking in at inopportune and unexpected moments, claiming victims for an afternoon, a weekend, a few years. We manage demons, live life. Schedule. Organize. Conquer. Seize. It hits as we rebuild. Cloaked differently now. No more train trips for wine, patio iced coffees. No more…
Sleep
Last night I had a dream I was arranging lawn furniture in the backyard of my childhood home. Two nights before, a dream I was shopping in my favorite American department store with my mom and my sister, looking at summer sandals. So banal. But I was sad when I woke up. I miss normal…
Musings
“Ravens are standing on a pile of bones – black typeface on white paper picking an idea clean. It’s what I do each time I sit down to write. What else are we to do with our obsessions? Do they feed us? Or are we simply scavenging our memories for one gleaming image to tell…
Home
Today’s meditation was about letting things go – places, things and people. The latter is the hardest. The former has given me a lot to think about lately. This pandemic has made me homesick in a way I haven’t experienced before. Deeply confusing, perhaps sometimes misplaced, nostalgia. For some sense of comfort I vaguely remember,…
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Cat Owner Living Abroad 